On Sunday November 15th at 7:30 p.m. I called into Labor and Delivery a half an hour early because I just couldn't wait. We called to see if we were good to come in and start the induction to get Abigail here. We got the green light and as I hung up the phone, it was like the excitement and nervousness kicked in all at once. I was supposed to eat something before we went in and Jake and I had perviously gotten some tomato basil soup to warm up for this very moment but I barely finished the small amount of soup because I was so anxious. We went through the list of last minute things to put in our hospital bag and packed up the car and off we went taking the three minute drive to the womens center. As I looked at the empty carseat behind me, I was amazed and almost non-believing that it would no longer stay empty. Walking into the hospital was a weird feeling. As I looked at Jake, squeezed his hand, and waddled into the elevator, I was so full of love for that man and couldn't help but cherish this last special moment with just us two.
We were led into the hospital room which luckily had a long couch for Jake to sleep on and lots of room. I changed into my hospital gown, still in a blurry haze of unbelief at what was happening or going to happen. My goals for the delivery were to have a natural birth, not be a screamer, and not to be rude or mean towards Jake or anyone for that matter. I achieved two of these three main goals. I was given the IV on my right arm but as she put the IV in, my vein popped, so she had to go to the left arm and put the IV in there. It didn't hurt at all. Ok thats an exaggeration but really it was pretty painless for me. Im also happy and grateful that the IV was placed in my left arm instead of my right because it would've bugged me so much if it were on my right arm because I use my right hand for everything.
They checked my cervix and after a week since the last check I was still at 1 1/2 centimeters dilated and 85-90% effaced. Disappointing, but, that didn't really bother me anymore knowing that she was coming the next day any ways. I was given the first out of three doses of a tiny pill they place in your cervix to help you dilate and contract. The first dose I took orally. I soon found a comfortable spot on the bed and tried going to sleep which really didn't happen because I was so anxious and I had to get up often and pull the big cart thing that had the IV on it, pull out the contraction and baby heart monitor plugs, and wheel my way to the toilet to pee in a tiny bucket so the nurses could see how much I was unrinating. GLAM-O-ROUS! The monitor showed that I was contracting but I was not feeling anything. I later came to the realization that I had been feeling braxton hicks contractions for a few weeks prior but didn't realize it was braxton hicks cause I didn't know what they felt like. They were not painful so I just thought it was the baby rolling in my belly.
After three hours the nurse came back in and checked me, I was still at 1 1/2 centimeters dilated and the same 85-95% effaced so they gave me the second dose and placed the pill in my cervix. After an hour, at around 3:00 a.m., I started to actually feel some pain associated with the contractions. Jake was trying to catch up on sleep. The contractions started to become more regular and stronger but when the nurse came into check me 3 hours after the pill had been placed, I was only at 2 cm dilated and the same effacement. I was a little bummed especially since I had finally felt some contractions but also happy at the same time because I was having some progress and actually feeling the progress compared to the no progression for 5 weeks. The nurse gave me the third and last dose and my contractions were getting stronger after that and I was having to breathe through them a little. When the nurse came back to check me another 2-3 hours later, I was still at 2 cm dilated but was now having regular contractions so they just thought they would check me again in 2 hours to see if I had progressed at all before they thought of the next course to take.
My contractions were starting to get even stronger but completely bearable and I stayed pretty calm. When the nurse came in two hours later, I was at 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced. I was so happy for more progression. We decided to wait another hour to see if there was anymore progression. It was around that time that my contractions started to do what they call "coupling" which means I was having a contraction, then another one right after, and then I got a 1-2 minute break in between. That was probably the most draining because all I wanted and looked forward to was the 1-2 minute relief from the pain and pressure of the contractions. The nurse then came in an hour later and I was very hopeful that there had been progression as I was having so many contractions with very little break in between but I was still at 4 cm dilated. The nurse was very nice as I wanted to prolong starting myself on pitocin and so we decided to wait one more hour and then check to see if I had progressed and if not that I would have my water broken first, which causes the contractions to get more intense, before starting the pitocin. Funny thing about this one nurse was that she was a talker. After she checked me and my blood pressure she would stay in the room while I was having contractions and just talk about her life. If she didn't have other patients to help, I seriously think she would've stayed talking the whole time in the hospital room. haha
After an hour the nurse came in and I was still at 4 cm so they called my doctor to come and break my water. Luckily there was already a doctor on the floor so they had her come in and she broke my water. After the doctor broke my water she stated that the lining of the water and my cervix was deceiving and that instead of being 100% effaced, I was only 80% effaced. All I can say is that having your water broken feels like you full on peed yourself for a few minutes. Not just a everyday normal pee. Its like you have a large bucket full of water pouring out of you. By the amount of liquid that comes out, it makes you wonder how in the world there was room for that much liquid, a baby, and the placenta! With each contraction more water would gush out. After about 10 minutes, my contractions definitely got way more intense and I was really having to focus and breathe through them. What made it horrible was the coupling of contractions and the small break in between. The nurse came into check me an hour later and I was still at 4 cm. I asked if we could just wait a little longer before I started the pitocin, so the nurse said that she would come check me in two hours and if there was no progression then we would start on pitocin. The contractions were painful and it hurt less to be in the bed and just switch positions than it was to stand or sit on the exercise ball. I knew it wouldn't help with progression but at that moment you are just focusing on getting through the pain of each contraction. After two hours and really strong "coupling" contractions, I was checked and........I was still at 4 cm.
I was so deflated and exhausted by that point and realized that I would need to start on the pitocin. They started me on pitocin, I think 1.5 was the dose, which was the lowest dose they start at. If I hadn't have started on the pitocin I think I could've handled the contractions much longer. Once the pitocin kicked in on top of my 3 pill doses and having my water broken, my contractions were getting so painful that I couldn't even breathe through them. It did not help that I had only a 1 minute break now and then two contractions right after the other. It was at this time that I truly started to quietly cry and was no longer my relaxed self because I was in a lot of pain and mainly just discouraged wondering how much longer would I have to go through these really painful contractions before I was even dilated to a 10? As I started to cry, Jake held my hand and I began contemplating getting an epidural which wasn't what I wanted but I couldn't take the pain for who knows how much longer. Jake, the amazingly sweet man he is, started to cry himself because he hated seeing me in so much pain. (Man, he loves me so much!) I love that husband of mine.
Anyways, the nurse came in with my doctor, who was just checking in on me. Unfortunately, my wonderful doctor caught me in the middle of a quiet sobbing cry. haha He was so sweet about it and said, "You can do this. You are on the smallest dose of pitocin and after 5 cm everything will go pretty fast." Based on how my progression was going, I appreciated what he said, but didnt believe him at all. haha A few minutes after he left, I called the nurse in to say I wanted an epidural. Luckily for me, the anesthesiologist was in the same building and just getting done with a C-section so he came into my room within 10-15 minutes later. The whole process went so smoothly, he was so good. Luckily he placed the epidural before I started getting another contraction. You are supposed to stay completely still but when he placed the needle/tube in my spine, it hit a nerve so I jerked my back out of reaction but he kindly reassured me that it was totally fine and that it didn't do anything. It took a total of maybe 9 minutes for me to start feeling the epidural at work and OH MY GOODNESS, it was amazing! I was numb evenly on both legs and could only feel the pressure/tightening of each contraction. BEST DECISION I EVER MADE!
I was so grateful and happy to not feel the pain that I literally just cried out of happiness. I kept saying to Jake how glad I was that I decided to get the epidural. I was actually able to relax for once and enjoy what was actually happening. Jake was so relieved that I was no longer in pain as well. In all honesty, when I got the epidural, I didn't even feel anything. I maybe felt a little poke when he was numbing the area but even then I can't be sure. It was a blissful next few hours and it went fast. It took only 4 more hours till I was fully dilated. The nurse checked me an hour after the epidural and I was at 6 cm and 100% effaced. Another hour later I was at 8 cm and then the next hour I was still at 8 cm and then the next hour I was at 10 cm and ready to push.
After the nurse said it was time to push, she placed a catheter to drain my pee for the second and last time and asked me to do a practice push. The practice push went well because she started to get more things ready in the room. I pushed when I felt the pressure of a contraction and by looking on the contraction monitor when a contraction was peeking. During some of the pushes the baby was getting too stressed so the nurse put an oxygen mask on me 5 minutes before she called the doctor in. It only took 30 minutes or less of pushing before she called the doctor to come in to deliver the baby. I started feeling nauseous and stayed pretty calm trying my hardest not to throw up. The doctor came in with the nurse that was meant to examine my baby and I pushed 10 minutes more and out our baby Abigail came. I felt only pressure and absolutely no pain during this whole pushing process. During the pushing, Jake, who didnt want to see anything associated with the baby coming out, was now so intrigued and amazed when he saw her head and the doctor helping the baby out that he couldn't look away. Me, on the other hand, was offered a mirror to see her head and I flatly said, "Oh gosh, no thank you!" When Abigail came out, first thing I did was start to cry for like 30 seconds and then say, "she's so small." In which the doctor replied, "Umm, not really." haha Abigail Ruth Timothy was born at 6:22 p.m. at 41 week gestation on November 16, 2015. She was 8 lbs 10 oz and 21 inches long. The doctor cut the cord because Jake didnt want to and then Abigail was taken to the table to be examined and poked. Abigail did two quick cries when she first came out but was silent the rest of the time. I delivered my placenta and was given some stitches for small tearing.
It was the most surreal feeling in the world. I truly didnt believe that the little baby in the room was mine. I couldn't believe that I had just given birth to MY baby. After that my recovery was amazing! I felt no pain afterwards. The hardest thing for me after was getting used to walking as my sense of balance was all weird and I felt like wobbly jello. Honestly, that first week of figuring out breastfeeding has been harder than labor, delivery, and recovery combined.
Your love just continues to grow each day after that. Abigail is absolutely perfect and I finally understand what all the mothers mean when they say, "You would literally do anything for them." I get it. I would die a thousand times if it meant letting Abigail live and her being happy. During pregnancy, I couldn't help but wonder why women would just keep having babies when pregnancy is so miserable (especially the third trimester). I get it now. I would do it all over again if it meant having that sweet baby as the outcome. ITS TOTALLY WORTH IT!!! There is seriously no greater thing than being a mother. I thought my happiness and love couldn't get any better with Jake but I was SOOO wrong. A family is completely the plan of happiness. I thought my love couldn't fit another person other than Jake and I was so wrong. Your love just gets bigger. I feel so blessed and happy to be sealed to my husband and that our little Abigail Ruth is sealed to us for eternity.
Its funny, when you're single you don't realize how much happiness comes when you get married. And now I can say when you are married without kids, you don't know how much more happiness comes with having a baby at the right time. God is good and just keeps making me happier.Im the luckiest girl alive to have the two most important people on this earth, my husband, and now my beautiful daughter.
I loved reading every word and had to push through trying not to cry. You are so brave and real, Jill, and I am sooo very happy for you and your joy. Abigail is beautiful, perfect, and meant just for you and Jake. I can hardly wait to meet her!
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