Well I haven't written in a while because I was in a rut. Which is normal, we all have it. One thing happens in your life and it goes down hill from there and you're back where you started. Jake and I had some struggles but we came out victorious and stronger because of the adversity! Unfortunately, that meant I didn't want to do anything to do with working out because I was too depressed. I went to the temple which I need to remember was the best thing I could've done over working out. Then I got to used to coming home and having all this time on my hands to relax and go to bed early. I didn't even go to the temple for a week and a half or so. The whole time I was down on myself for not working out. I even went out and ate maybe 3 times since I last wrote. I even feel disappointed admitting it but hey ITS OK! I am starting again come monday with my whole schedule.
(If out of this whole post you want to read just a little, PLEASE READ THIS PART!)
Oh you ate out and didn't work out for a month? You just relaxed at home and got stuck in a rut?
ITS OK! Begin again even if you get stuck in a rut, always come back to it.
I read in the book The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox that if you falter in working out keep coming back it doesn't matter how many times. Change the context to where it refers to working out, it says, "Perhaps as we reflect on our lives, it is easy to convince ourselves we have sinned too often and gone too far to deserve the Atonement. We criticize ourselves harshly and beat ourselves up mercilessly. Perhaps we feel we have stepped beyond the reach of the Atonement by knowingly repeating a previously forsaken sin. We understand that God and Jesus were willing to forgive the first time, but we wonder how many more times there will be willing to watch us bumble along before they finally roll their eyes and say, "Enough Already!" We struggle so much to forgive ourselves that we wrongly assume God must be having the same struggle.... God will forgive you seven times seventy and infinitely more... Christ Himself answers, "As often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me" (Mosiah 26:30) God is long-suffering, change is a process, and repentance is a pattern in our lives."
Did you realize while struggling with working out you were using the Atonement?! I sure didn't. No matter how many days, weeks, month, years we have gone without working out or becoming a happier healthier us, KEEP STARTING AGAIN! Even if its seven times seventy times, just start again. Don't focus on how you have to keep starting over or that you keep getting in that rut because it WILL happen.
My name is Jill, I ate out 3 or 4 times in the past 2 weeks, I didn't work out once in those 2 weeks, I didn't go to the temple for about a week and a half, and Im ok with it because I will start again even if I get in a rut the next day. I will never give up and I will not get down on myself.
Amazing moment I just had and I want to share it real quick. I was looking through The Continuous Atonement book so I could copy the quote on this blog post and a letter fell out from my sister-in-law, Jessi. For those of you who don't know Jake and I made a mistake and had to wait a year to get sealed in the temple, I was struggling with myself for those few weeks after we made the mistake and Jessi gave me this book to read and wrote me this letter,
March 29, 2012
Jill,
I think you are great. What you and Jake are about to go through makes my heart ache. But between both of you I know you guys will conquer any obstacle and hard moments. I will never look down on you or think of you less. Im so glad my brother got a girl who can face hard things and not run away. Both of you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. Life is too short to sit and ponder on the past. Move forward with faith and enjoy the happy moments. Those happy moments will help you get through some tough terrain. I love you.
-Jess
Readers, whoever you are, you are loved by someone, they know you can do anything, you can do hard things. Don't focus on the negative. Start again and again and again. Don't think of you getting in a rut over and over again as a bad thing. Its better than giving up. Remember the Atonement and how you can always come back to Christ and its better to always come back then just give up.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
DAY 2: The Blessing of The Temple
Ok I have to make this one short because I have so much to do already before I go to bed. Day 2 started out with negative thoughts, blah blah blah you're to tired to workout blah blah blah you look so fat. But they soon went away once I went to the gym to work out. Its amazing how just simply exercising makes you happier about yourself. I faced a few things today, saying NO! I have such a weekness went it comes to food, its tastes good so I eat it and eat more and more of it. We have so much strength inside us to resist. All it takes is a forceful yelling, "NO!" in our minds and its amazing how empowered you feel. Your happiness is increased by a simple two letter word.
I went to the temple today to do endowments which are 3 hours or a little less I think. People, People hark ye to these words I speak. THE TEMPLE WILL HELP YOU!!!!!!!! If you are struggling with eating, weight, anxiety, loneliness the temple can cure you! I started going to the temple because I was in such a dark place about my body and all the negativity that consumed me. My amazing mother, who's knowledge is beyond her years, told me, "Just go to the temple and it will help you want to work out more and you will become the person that you miss, 'the happier healthier you'." I was so done with crying over my weight almost every night that I decided I would do anything to be happy again. My mom told me that don't stress about working out, the only things you need to focus on is, going to the temple at least twice a week, reading your scriptures, and saying your personal prayer. I was glad I didn't have to combine everything on my list to where it was overwhelming. I put aside the rest of my list and just focused on that. Next thing I know Im wanting to workout and Im night and day happier. EVERYTHING FALLS INTO PLACE IF YOU PUT THE LORD FIRST!
Special moment at the temple, I was leaving and saw one of the patients that goes to our dental office who is an older cute grandpa. I got to talking with him after saying hi, he recently lost his wife 3 months ago and shared some special moments about her that he explained he didn't really share with many people. How truly blessed I am to have gone to the temple to have that special experience with this old man who clearly loved his wife but was so positive about everything and told me some things I needed to hear. Heavenly Father, you work in mysterious but oh so wonderful ways. Thank you for the love you show me through other people.
STATUS DAY 2:
*Went to work till 5:30
*Went to the gym for 12 minutes (Just jogged 3 laps and walked the last one) FYI you do not need to do much just get out there!
*Didnt eat a single treat or chocolate chip cookie today!
*Went to the temple for 3 hours (I like to round up) haha
*The Temples are the key!
Weight: Still 188 pounds (I will get there!)
I went to the temple today to do endowments which are 3 hours or a little less I think. People, People hark ye to these words I speak. THE TEMPLE WILL HELP YOU!!!!!!!! If you are struggling with eating, weight, anxiety, loneliness the temple can cure you! I started going to the temple because I was in such a dark place about my body and all the negativity that consumed me. My amazing mother, who's knowledge is beyond her years, told me, "Just go to the temple and it will help you want to work out more and you will become the person that you miss, 'the happier healthier you'." I was so done with crying over my weight almost every night that I decided I would do anything to be happy again. My mom told me that don't stress about working out, the only things you need to focus on is, going to the temple at least twice a week, reading your scriptures, and saying your personal prayer. I was glad I didn't have to combine everything on my list to where it was overwhelming. I put aside the rest of my list and just focused on that. Next thing I know Im wanting to workout and Im night and day happier. EVERYTHING FALLS INTO PLACE IF YOU PUT THE LORD FIRST!
Special moment at the temple, I was leaving and saw one of the patients that goes to our dental office who is an older cute grandpa. I got to talking with him after saying hi, he recently lost his wife 3 months ago and shared some special moments about her that he explained he didn't really share with many people. How truly blessed I am to have gone to the temple to have that special experience with this old man who clearly loved his wife but was so positive about everything and told me some things I needed to hear. Heavenly Father, you work in mysterious but oh so wonderful ways. Thank you for the love you show me through other people.
STATUS DAY 2:
*Went to work till 5:30
*Went to the gym for 12 minutes (Just jogged 3 laps and walked the last one) FYI you do not need to do much just get out there!
*Didnt eat a single treat or chocolate chip cookie today!
*Went to the temple for 3 hours (I like to round up) haha
*The Temples are the key!
Weight: Still 188 pounds (I will get there!)
Monday, February 3, 2014
DAY 1: Insecurities And Those Darn "IF ONLY'S"
Well I will make this short because no one likes reading a long blog post.
I work as a dental assistant and my co-workers, well, lets just say that they are the girls where they can eat twenty donuts a day and never gain weight. Both of them don't work out. One just had a baby and came in to visit us 2 weeks later and it was if she never was pregnant. No left over baby fat for her, no sir. You want to know the honest truth, it definitely makes it harder not to think of why your body cant be that way and be insecure. How truly blessed they are to have bodies like that, I hope they see how beautiful they really are everyday. You always find your self in the "If Only's" when it comes to weight insecurities. IF ONLY I could be as thin as her. IF ONLY I could not have to work out. IF ONLY I didn't have to have the trial of getting overweight. If only, if only, IF ONLY!! JUST STOP THOSE THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW! I realized three things from this,
1. You are not someone else, you are you, and you are enough.
2. IF ONLYS hold you back from reaching the true happier healthier you.
3. They make you lazy.
Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and emotional output because, and I hate to say it but, YOU WILL NEVER BE THEM. You can only be you. No one person is the same. The only one you can control is yourself. Easier said then done right? When it comes to making an effort of getting rid of sweets, actually taking time before I go to work to get workout clothes ready so I can force myself to go to the gym, and eating healthier, I suck. I am so lazy and that is another cause to why It has taken me so long to get back in shape. So, today I decided that I would completely take out sweets, not completely sugar yet because I like my cereal in the morning because its fast but Im going to try and stay away from eating out, cookies, that sort of thing. It may not see very big but it is HUGE for me. Hopefully I can be stronger than my negative thoughts.
One of the most important things I could say for Day 1 and possibly out of everything is....
GET CLOSER TO CHRIST!!! Go to the temple, read your scriptures, anything! Just find that connection between you and God. I have gone to the temple everyday last week and I will bear my testimony on this, any negative thoughts in my mind were vanquished. I found it easier to go to the gym and I am getting happier and happier each day.
Do something active and stay positive, even if its walking around one block or just walking into the gym and walking right back out. Don't get down on yourself if you didn't workout for 30 min, just say something positive to turn it around, "Hey at least I got off my butt and went to the gym." IMPROVEMENT don't stress if you miss a day get back in it. TRUST ME I know it works and it helps so you don't feel sorry about yourself so much and helps you think that working out is possible.
I thought it would be a short entry and it wasn't so Im sorry readers whoever you are, if any of you actually read this.
STATUS:
*Went to the gym and ran for only 7 minutes did a few arm exercises on workout bands while watching a TV show, 30 crunches, and planks for 30 seconds.
* Couldn't go to the temple because it was closed.
*Made the decision to stay away from sweets. Had my last Chocolate Chip Cookie for a while. :( Sad day.
*My Mile Time: 11:20 (Shaved off 3 minutes! YES!)
*Weight: Still 188 lbs
I work as a dental assistant and my co-workers, well, lets just say that they are the girls where they can eat twenty donuts a day and never gain weight. Both of them don't work out. One just had a baby and came in to visit us 2 weeks later and it was if she never was pregnant. No left over baby fat for her, no sir. You want to know the honest truth, it definitely makes it harder not to think of why your body cant be that way and be insecure. How truly blessed they are to have bodies like that, I hope they see how beautiful they really are everyday. You always find your self in the "If Only's" when it comes to weight insecurities. IF ONLY I could be as thin as her. IF ONLY I could not have to work out. IF ONLY I didn't have to have the trial of getting overweight. If only, if only, IF ONLY!! JUST STOP THOSE THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW! I realized three things from this,
1. You are not someone else, you are you, and you are enough.
2. IF ONLYS hold you back from reaching the true happier healthier you.
3. They make you lazy.
Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and emotional output because, and I hate to say it but, YOU WILL NEVER BE THEM. You can only be you. No one person is the same. The only one you can control is yourself. Easier said then done right? When it comes to making an effort of getting rid of sweets, actually taking time before I go to work to get workout clothes ready so I can force myself to go to the gym, and eating healthier, I suck. I am so lazy and that is another cause to why It has taken me so long to get back in shape. So, today I decided that I would completely take out sweets, not completely sugar yet because I like my cereal in the morning because its fast but Im going to try and stay away from eating out, cookies, that sort of thing. It may not see very big but it is HUGE for me. Hopefully I can be stronger than my negative thoughts.
One of the most important things I could say for Day 1 and possibly out of everything is....
GET CLOSER TO CHRIST!!! Go to the temple, read your scriptures, anything! Just find that connection between you and God. I have gone to the temple everyday last week and I will bear my testimony on this, any negative thoughts in my mind were vanquished. I found it easier to go to the gym and I am getting happier and happier each day.
Do something active and stay positive, even if its walking around one block or just walking into the gym and walking right back out. Don't get down on yourself if you didn't workout for 30 min, just say something positive to turn it around, "Hey at least I got off my butt and went to the gym." IMPROVEMENT don't stress if you miss a day get back in it. TRUST ME I know it works and it helps so you don't feel sorry about yourself so much and helps you think that working out is possible.
I thought it would be a short entry and it wasn't so Im sorry readers whoever you are, if any of you actually read this.
STATUS:
*Went to the gym and ran for only 7 minutes did a few arm exercises on workout bands while watching a TV show, 30 crunches, and planks for 30 seconds.
* Couldn't go to the temple because it was closed.
*Made the decision to stay away from sweets. Had my last Chocolate Chip Cookie for a while. :( Sad day.
*My Mile Time: 11:20 (Shaved off 3 minutes! YES!)
*Weight: Still 188 lbs
The Start of Forever!
I named this post accordingly so because, well, staying in shape is a forever thing. I cant just say, "Oh, Im thin again now Im free to just let it go and stuff my face." I either stay overweight, fluctuate back and forth in an emotional roller coaster, or I can stay a happier healthier me. Im mainly starting this blog to see if it will help me stay motivated. The trial run begins........NOW!
Well weight has been huge since getting married, I have gained 28 pounds since high school! GASP! I know, I know, I just really need to kick it into gear. Well Im about to say something that would embarrass any girl to admit to those who may read this, I weigh 188 pounds. But heres the thing that I have come to realize throughout my life, EVERY BODY IS DIFFERENT! My most healthiest weight was 155 pounds in high school. I have done sports my whole life, until now. I was born muscular and that is not just something I've convinced myself to think to make me feel better. I was born with more muscle than most girls. Just think of me as a white Samoan girl, except that I dont have such a witty humor or infectious laugh like most Samoans seem to have. This is a blessing and a curse. A curse because my thighs have always touched because lucky me I have muscular thighs and calfs that say they want to take up most of the space, I am not and never will be a model. But I am ok with that because the blessing of being more muscular is that I can beat my brother in a arm wrestle, I scare my husband sometimes because if he is purposefully playfully trying to hurt me, I bring it right back ten fold, and now even though Im out of shape I cant still outlast most girls when it comes to moving boxes or lifting heavy things for a long period of time. But I need to say, NOT EVERY SKINNY GIRL IS WEAK, I am not trying to say that I am better that most girls or what not. I hope with writing this blog it will encourage and give me a way to vent all my insecurities and turn them into positive things. My purpose with this blog is to become a healthier happier me. :)
Well weight has been huge since getting married, I have gained 28 pounds since high school! GASP! I know, I know, I just really need to kick it into gear. Well Im about to say something that would embarrass any girl to admit to those who may read this, I weigh 188 pounds. But heres the thing that I have come to realize throughout my life, EVERY BODY IS DIFFERENT! My most healthiest weight was 155 pounds in high school. I have done sports my whole life, until now. I was born muscular and that is not just something I've convinced myself to think to make me feel better. I was born with more muscle than most girls. Just think of me as a white Samoan girl, except that I dont have such a witty humor or infectious laugh like most Samoans seem to have. This is a blessing and a curse. A curse because my thighs have always touched because lucky me I have muscular thighs and calfs that say they want to take up most of the space, I am not and never will be a model. But I am ok with that because the blessing of being more muscular is that I can beat my brother in a arm wrestle, I scare my husband sometimes because if he is purposefully playfully trying to hurt me, I bring it right back ten fold, and now even though Im out of shape I cant still outlast most girls when it comes to moving boxes or lifting heavy things for a long period of time. But I need to say, NOT EVERY SKINNY GIRL IS WEAK, I am not trying to say that I am better that most girls or what not. I hope with writing this blog it will encourage and give me a way to vent all my insecurities and turn them into positive things. My purpose with this blog is to become a healthier happier me. :)
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