Week 3 - Remaining In The Rut...Or Not? (Winky Face)

Well I haven't written in a while because I was in a rut. Which is normal, we all have it. One thing happens in your life and it goes down hill from there and you're back where you started. Jake and I had some struggles but we came out victorious and stronger because of the adversity! Unfortunately, that meant I didn't want to do anything to do with working out because I was too depressed. I went to the temple which I need to remember was the best thing I could've done over working out. Then I got to used to coming home and having all this time on my hands to relax and go to bed early. I didn't even go to the temple for a week and a half or so. The whole time I was down on myself for not working out. I even went out and ate maybe 3 times since I last wrote. I even feel disappointed admitting it but hey ITS OK! I am starting again come monday with my whole schedule.

(If out of this whole post you want to read just a little, PLEASE READ THIS PART!)

Oh you ate out and didn't work out for a month? You just relaxed at home and got stuck in a rut?
ITS OK! Begin again even if you get stuck in a rut, always come back to it.

I read in the book The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox that if you falter in working out keep coming back it doesn't matter how many times. Change the context to where it refers to working out, it says, "Perhaps as we reflect on our lives, it is easy to convince ourselves we have sinned too often and gone too far to deserve the Atonement. We criticize ourselves harshly and beat ourselves up mercilessly. Perhaps we feel we have stepped beyond the reach of the Atonement by knowingly repeating a previously forsaken sin. We understand that God and Jesus were willing to forgive the first time, but we wonder how many more times there will be willing to watch us bumble along before they finally roll their eyes and say, "Enough Already!" We struggle so much to forgive ourselves that we wrongly assume God must be having the same struggle.... God will forgive you seven times seventy and infinitely more... Christ Himself answers, "As often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me" (Mosiah 26:30) God is long-suffering, change is a process, and repentance is a pattern in our lives."

Did you realize while struggling with working out you were using the Atonement?! I sure didn't. No matter how many days, weeks, month, years we have gone without working out or becoming a happier healthier us, KEEP STARTING AGAIN! Even if its seven times seventy times, just start again. Don't focus on how you have to keep starting over or that you keep getting in that rut because it WILL happen.

My name is Jill, I ate out 3 or 4 times in the past 2 weeks, I didn't work out once in those 2 weeks, I didn't go to the temple for about a week and a half, and Im ok with it because I will start again even if I get in a rut the next day. I will never give up and I will not get down on myself.

Amazing moment I just had and I want to share it real quick. I was looking through The Continuous Atonement book so I could copy the quote on this blog post and a letter fell out from my sister-in-law, Jessi. For those of you who don't know Jake and I made a mistake and had to wait a year to get sealed in the temple, I was struggling with myself for those few weeks after we made the mistake and Jessi gave me this book to read and wrote me this letter,

March 29, 2012

Jill,
I think you are great. What you and Jake are about to go through makes my heart ache. But between both of you I know you guys will conquer any obstacle and hard moments. I will never look down on you or think of you less. Im so glad my brother got a girl who can face hard things and not run away. Both of you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. Life is too short to sit and ponder on the past. Move forward with faith and enjoy the happy moments. Those happy moments will help you get through some tough terrain. I love you.
-Jess

Readers, whoever you are, you are loved by someone, they know you can do anything, you can do hard things. Don't focus on the negative. Start again and again and again. Don't think of you getting in a rut over and over again as a bad thing. Its better than giving up. Remember the Atonement and how you can always come back to Christ and its better to always come back then just give up.